Random update before sleep

And am not sure why suddenly there is crooked teeth

Not sure how am I suppose to feel when school starts but yea now am feeling, term not too good. I still owe like 16 points before hitting my first class. Like seriously? Alright, first day of class wasn't as fun as last time. In fact, I felt more stressed out than ever. Lecturer came in and straight away hit us with the reality. Suddenly I was thinking, if I could not handle even this kind of stress, what am I gonna do later when graduate? 

Suddenly I realised that, time flies. It was just like yesterday when I first walked into the college and now it has become one of the place I could call it as a second home. I love my lecturers and also my friends no matter how hard the reality hits me.

And I am struggling with the electives as well. People around me seemed to be discouraging me to go on with the qualifying degree. My point of view would be, who knows? Who knows if I could really get my hands on the scholarship with my hard work? Who knows what is going to happen in the future? The future again has become very uncertain.

Another thing that bothers me a lot would be time. I have came to a point where I felt that one day, 24 hours are no longer enough for me. I do not know how to cope this. The thing is that, I wanna do more stuff but my physical state does not allow me to do so. Argh, is that the symptoms of getting older?

So, getting old is the byproduct of dying. There was once people told me that, we are born to die. But why would god wanna create all of us if we are going to die anyway? Dying is not a fun thing to think of but it really haunts me, everyday. Life is already full of uncertainties where people like me are forever lost, what more death? 

I got to think of death when I was flung out of the bike this morning. What happened if I die? Will anyone remember me? I bet my family is going to be really sad. Will my friends be sad? Or will they be there just to sigh and say 节哀顺变？I think I know what my fear is, I fear oblivion.